Sometimes healing does not arrive in a big, life changing moment.

Sometimes it quietly finds you while you are researching shampoo bars at two in the morning, because you are terrified of losing your hair.

Back in September 2020, I tested positive for COVID-19. My husband, together with my father-in-law and mother-in-law, had tested positive before me and were already admitted to the hospital. I was sent to an isolation facility with my husband’s nephew. Physically, I was okay. Emotionally, I was not.

I was worried about my husband. My in-laws’ condition was much worse than mine, so I worried for them too. And my nephew was on my mind constantly, because it felt like I had to stay strong for both of us.

That frightened me. So I did what I usually do whenever something scares me. I started researching.

This story is not really about shampoo bars. It is about surviving one of the hardest seasons of my life. But during one of those late night searches, I stumbled across something I had never really thought about before. Shampoo bars.

I was not looking for a new hobby. I was simply trying to find something that might help with my hair. Instead, I found something that would eventually help my mind too.

My First Handmade Creation Was Not Even a Shampoo Bar

I smile every time I remember this, because people usually assume I started with shampoo bars. That is not true.

A simple glycerin soap making kit from someone on Facebook Marketplace became my very first purchase. I picked it up myself and rushed home, excited to try it.

Looking back, it was far from perfect. I improvised with whatever tools I could find around the house. The soap was not beautiful. It definitely was not something I could sell.

But I remember enjoying every second of it. That tiny project sparked something inside me.

The Apple Cider Vinegar Shampoo Bar

Apple cider vinegar is often used in shampoo bars because it can help remove buildup from the scalp, leave hair feeling cleaner, add shine, and support a more balanced scalp. It is not a miracle ingredient, but it is one reason a lot of people who make their own shampoo bars love experimenting with it.

I was so excited after making my very first shampoo bar that I used it almost immediately. It was not even fully hardened yet. Looking back, I laugh every time I remember it. I simply could not wait.

Failure Became My Teacher

Most people only see the finished products. The neatly wrapped conditioner bars. The shampoo bars. The candles.

They do not see the batches that refused to harden. The bars that turned out too soft. The formulas that looked perfect on paper but did not work in real life.

I failed more times than I can count. And somehow, I enjoyed every single lesson.

Every failed batch taught me patience. Adjusting the recipe again and again taught me to observe closely. And each small improvement reminded me that progress is usually slow.

Looking back now, I do not think I fell in love with making shampoo bars. I fell in love with learning.

Creating Is Art

For the longest time, I believed I was not artistic. People often say left handed people are naturally creative, and I used to laugh and tell everyone I must have missed that part, because I could not draw, paint, or color.

My husband saw it differently. He told me that creating something with my own hands is art. It does not have to be a painting. It does not have to hang in a gallery. Turning raw ingredients into something useful, beautiful, and made with care is its own kind of creativity.

That simple conversation changed how I saw myself.

Then Came the Candles

I have loved scented candles since high school. Whenever I had extra money, I would buy one. There was always something comforting about lighting a candle after a long day. The soft glow and familiar scent made home feel a little quieter.

Learning how to make them felt like a natural next step. Just like the shampoo bars, candle making became another quiet ritual that brought me peace.

Where I Am Now

I do not make shampoo bars and candles as often as I used to. Life got busy, and other priorities came along. My friends still ask me to make them from time to time, and I even bought new ingredients last Christmas. Everything is still patiently waiting for me.

People have also asked why I do not turn it into a business again. The truth is, handmade cosmetic products like shampoo and conditioner bars involve much more than a good formula. In the Philippines, selling them commercially means meeting FDA product notification requirements, proper documentation, ingredient records, labeling rules, and Good Manufacturing Practice standards. It takes time, preparation, and investment I am not ready to give right now.

Maybe one day. Who knows.

For now, I am simply grateful this little hobby found me when I needed it most. It reminded me that healing does not always happen through grand gestures. Sometimes it begins with a failed shampoo bar. Sometimes it begins with a candle. And sometimes, all it takes is creating something with your own hands to slowly find yourself again.