I have been thinking about writing this for a while, but I honestly did not know where to start. Maybe because I still do not completely know how to explain what I am feeling.

After exactly one year, I am leaving a job that became more than just work to me. And even though resigning was my decision, saying goodbye has been much harder than I expected.

It Wasn’t a Sudden Decision

Leaving had been a discussion between me and my husband for quite some time. It never really turned into an argument. It was more like one of those conversations that would come up every now and then. We would talk about work, life, our plans, and what I wanted moving forward. Then the conversation would end.

But somehow, the thoughts stayed with me, especially this past month.

I started thinking about everything more seriously. I asked myself questions I had probably been avoiding for a while. Am I still happy with where I am? Is this still what I want? What happens if I leave? And maybe the hardest one, am I really ready to say goodbye?

The answer to that last question was probably no. I hesitated a lot.

One Year That Became More Than Work

I originally joined as an e-commerce VA. My work involved suppliers, shipping, and the usual things happening behind an online business.

Eventually, my responsibilities started changing and growing. I got to build a website that became something I was really involved in, and from there I also started working on marketing and learning more parts of the business.

When I look back at the past year, there were so many tasks, messages, meetings, problems to solve, and things to figure out. But strangely, those are not the first things that come to mind when I think about leaving.

I think about the people.

The People Made This Goodbye Hard

I am grateful to the person who first gave me the opportunity to become part of this team. Being trusted with different responsibilities meant a lot to me, especially whenever I was given something new to work on or figure out.

Then there is the teammate I worked with the longest. He is probably one of the people I will miss working with the most. We had many long nighttime meetings. Some of those were supposed to be about work, but somewhere along the way, we would end up talking about life outside work too. Random stories. Things happening in our lives. Thoughts that had absolutely nothing to do with whatever task we were originally discussing.

Without really noticing it, I got to know him beyond just being someone I worked with.

Later, two more teammates became part of the team, and more recently, one more joined us.

It is funny how remote work works sometimes. You can be thousands of miles away from the people you work with and still become attached to the little routines you share with them. The meetings. The messages. The jokes. Even the stressful days. They quietly become part of your normal life.

And then one day, you realize that soon, they will no longer be part of your everyday routine. I think that is the part that hurts.

Submitting My Resignation

I still cannot properly explain what I felt when I finally submitted my resignation. There was no dramatic moment. No anger. No feeling of finally escaping from something I hated.

If anything, that probably made it harder. Part of me knew why I was making the decision. But another part of me kept wondering if I should stay.

I hesitated big time. Even after making the decision, there were moments when I questioned myself. Maybe I should stay a little longer. Maybe I can still make it work. Maybe I will regret leaving. There were so many maybes.

But sometimes, even when something is good, you still reach a point where you have to think about what you need next. And I am slowly learning that choosing to leave does not mean I am ungrateful for what I had.

What This Job Taught Me

I have been working from home for many years, and every job has taught me something different. This one reminded me that work is rarely just about work.

Yes, there are responsibilities, deadlines, websites, suppliers, shipping, marketing, meetings, and all the things that need to get done. But somewhere between all of those things, you build connections. You learn people’s personalities. You learn how they work. You share stressful days and good days. Sometimes you even share pieces of your life with each other.

And those are the things that stay.

I also learned that leaving something good can sometimes be harder than leaving something bad. When you are unhappy, walking away can feel like relief. But when you genuinely care about the people and appreciate the opportunity you were given, leaving feels different. There is sadness mixed with gratitude, and maybe a little guilt too.

But I know I can appreciate this chapter without needing to stay in it forever.

What Comes Next

I do have some thoughts about what comes next, but for now, I think I want to take things one step at a time.

There have already been many changes happening in my life lately. Some exciting. Some exhausting. Some emotional. Maybe this is simply another one of them.

I do not have a big inspirational ending or a perfect plan for what happens after this. I am still figuring things out. And I think I am okay with that.

Thank You for This Chapter

As my last days get closer, I am definitely sad. I do not think saying goodbye will suddenly become easier when the final day comes. Maybe it will actually feel even harder.

But when I look back at this one year, I know I will remember it with gratitude. I will remember being trusted to become part of something. I will remember building things, learning new things, and being given room to grow. But most of all, I will remember the people. The conversations. The long meetings. The random life stories in between work discussions. And the feeling that, even for just one year, I was part of a little team.

To everyone who was part of this chapter, thank you. Thank you for making this something that became difficult to say goodbye to. Maybe that is how I know it meant something.

And wherever life takes me next, I think a small part of this chapter will always come with me.